While we got pregnant without any hiccups with Chase and Asher, that was not the case this time around. After we started to try for this baby nearly a year ago, I realized I wasn't ovulating as I should be so off to the doctors we went. I did 3 cycles of clomid through my regular OBGYN and no result. Both James and I felt defeated. Yes we had 2 healthy and beautiful boys and we know that is more than some people have and we thank God for them every day, but we couldn't help but feel a piece of our family was still missing.
We got transferred to a fertility clinic. Yes a fertility clinic, after having two kids naturally, seemed bizarre to us. The staff at Mainline Fertility are absolutely amazing. They have been nothing short of compassionate, kind and supportive. I went through a battery of tests and procedures to find out what was going on. They were not pleasant and I questioned if it was worth it. Maybe we should just stop and be satisfied with the children we have? Yet we continued on, and prayed and prayed. Then one Saturday evening in April I took a test on a whim and got a positive! Neither of us could believe it. We were overjoyed and starting envisioning this third little baby. A few days later, I had blood drawn to confirm the pregnancy and in 2 seconds our daydreams of this third baby were gone. I had experienced a chemical pregnancy. Both James and I were shocked and disappointed to say the least. How could this have happened? We let ourselves be upset for a day or two and then picked ourselves up and moved onward. Back in college two wonderful people told me a verse that I have since clung to Romans 5: 3-4.
We had one more round of clomid to do and then we had to choose another method. Before we started this process we had already discussed IUI and IVF and we had both agreed that wasn't a road we wanted to go down. The fourth round of clomid, I went into with zero expectations and told the doctor that James and I would discuss the other medicines that were offered and we would be in touch. Thank goodness we didn't give up as our prayers were answered on that 4th round of clomid! BabyP3 had arrived.
Getting to see our child's heartbeat today, and see it's spine and arms and legs is nothing short of amazing and nothing we take for granted. We love this little one so much already its indescribable. The boys too. Chase has been asking for a baby and I'm so thankful we get to give him another sibling, Asher too. Chase asks everyday if the baby is growing and gets so excited when I tell him I'm going to the doctor and will be home with a photo of his brother or sister. If it's up to Chase it is his brother. A girl would be helpful though as it will be battle royale over names if its a boy ;) Time will tell.
A lot of people have already asked if we are 'trying for our daughter'. While both James and I would love to experience having a daughter, we would be equally as happy with another boy. We didn't want a third to try for a specific gender, we just felt 3 children rounded out our family.
So far the pregnancy has been just like the other two in that I have bad morning sickness again but with the help of meds is manageable. Either way I will take it, as it is a reminder of the life developing in there. This past week has been a bit rough as I got hit hard with a stomach bug and upper respiratory bug. I've never had to call in reinforcements for the boys before but it was needed this past week. Mama didn't/couldn't get out of bed for 3 days. It takes a village sometimes with kids and we are thankful for ours. Mom Mom and Pop Berry came to the rescue and took over boys and house duty and did an amazing job.
Today was my last appointment with the fertility specialist and I will now be seeing my OB again. Some may wonder why I would share something so personal. For one my blog is a place I journal important things. Even though this journey has ben hard it is something I don't want to forget as it strengthened our faith and our love for this baby. Second, somebody else may be experiencing something similar and if I can give them some hope, then why not.
It seems such a ways until we get to meet he or she in January but I know with a fun filled summer and a fall full of birthdays and holidays that day will soon be here. In the meantime I am soaking up every little bit of being pregnant.
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